Yo, you ever have to piss like a race horse… so you do a light jog to the nearest public bathroom… only to open the stall door and somebody done shat everywhere? Seat, water, AND floor. And to make matters worse, you had already opened your fly anticipating it being a clean stall.

Why do it be so much fuckin’ water on the floor and counter near the sink? What the fuck are you doin’ fam? You too old to be splashin’ water every-gotdamn-where. Now you gotta tip-toe around the puddles n’ shit.

Who is the genius that be throwin’ tissue in the urinals? Ninjas like that should get their chest hairs pulled out one by one. Now I gotta aim on an angle because I don’t want the pee droplets to repel onto my clothing.

Speakin’ of urinals, I try to avoid them as much as possible. Especially if I’m using a bathroom in a suspect environment (c) hood ass bar/club, etc. For one, having your back turned while pissin’ makes you extremely vulnerable to a random assault, robbery, etc. Never know who’s watchin’ you in those type of places. Gotta keep my distance as much as possible.

And a segue into distance… between urinals, that is. Lets take the movie theater for example. It’s about 15 urinals in that blip. I’m pissin’ dolo… and here comes Mr. I.P. Freely who decides to use the urinal RIGHT next to me. Are you some kinda faggie? You mean to tell me… that of all the available stalls, you decided to stand DIRECTLY next to another grown man and whip out your wood? Not cool. And to make it worse, it usually be one of those bathrooms without the dividers. So now you got to a.) make sure this clown aint tryin’ to take peeps, and b.) here the “I’m refreshed” pissing sighs and exclamations. Yeah, we all do ‘em but I don’t need to hear that right next to me chief.

Yo… save the mini-shower for your own crib, boss. Ninjas gotta wash their hands and you in this bitch scrubbin’ your damn face like a Noxema commercial.

Speakin’ of washin’ hands… I be catchin’ you NAS-TEE muhfuckas who done walked in, pissed, and walked right the fuck out without lettin’ your palms touch the water. And most notably, they be of the Anglo-Saxon variety. Oh… thought I wasn’t gonna bring that up huh? And I bet he probably stuck his hands ALL IN his date’s popcorn and nachos. Smh.

It’s called a courtesy flush… for the love of God. The whole damn bathroom LIT UP. I understand that if you gotta drop the Hiroshima then do you fam, by all means. But don’t be just sittin’ there on top of your doo-doo pile like aint nobody else in here. You aint home chiefy.

I swear… I slam dry my hands on my gear when it aint no paper towels. Fuck it. I aint walkin’ out the bathroom lookin’ like I just mixed salat.

Speakin’ of hands… you might not wanna touch that door handle with your bare hands on the way out. As I mentioned earlier, madd trifling mofos don’t be washin’ their hands and be touchin’ that same door handle. Best to use a paper towel and then throw it away once you get out the bathroom.

Best public bathrooms to use are those extra swank hotels. You know all the rich mofos like to use the bathroom in their presidential suite so the public joints near the lobby be damn near deserted.

Are you seriously on the celly while dumpin’? Kill yourself.

April 11th, 2008 at 12:29 pm
lol. dead serious klo. i was young, idealistic and had morals. silly girl i was. jk

^^^ LOL…no doubt…

^^^

LMAO.

also damn thats crazy about that puffy story.

Green has got to be dimetastic.

tinyurl.com/4s9w4j

tinyurl.com/4ad3r7

tinyurl.com/4k8kvd

April 11th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
that Game song Dreaming goes extremely hard.

^^^
Indeed.

April 11th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
NYC/DC/Philly bred’ren:

What’s poppin’ for the weekend? I FINALLY got some free time and I’m tryin’ to get into some shit (no pooper piper).

^^^
i think im gonna get Drunk… Sit in the hallway & stare @ my warhol mickey paintings & fall asleep on the steps, if im lucky, i’ll slide & stub a toe.

^^^
The “I cant” put me in tears.

April 11th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
LMAO @ cold.. i know what you were damning. the tone of your typing changed.

you really did need to get married, you were quite the busy manwhore. or yo just didnt give a fuck.

another one from my diary: sometimes when ive paid all my bills, etc and i look at my bank statements and they’re low, i sincerely regret not accepting puffy’s invitation to spend the night in his bungalow when i was 16. can you say child support ballin? I cant.

^^^ wow? this a true story ma?

^

sugerdaddy.com is thataway >>>>

tinyurl.com/5xu2de

^word to the HIV results kid.

you really did need to get married, you were quite the busy manwhore. or yo just didnt give a fuck.

another one from my diary: sometimes when ive paid all my bills, etc and i look at my bank statements and they’re low, i sincerely regret not accepting puffy’s invitation to spend the night in his bungalow when i was 16. can you say child support ballin? I cant.

April 11th, 2008 at 12:19 pm
lol green I was damning about the “pussy good” shit. lol.

^ dont let that discourage you for any future confessionals

nahright confession: I once boned a hooker raw dawg on my way to this girl house who I was fucking. Then went raw in her too.

^^^

and ya dick didnt fall off?…

damn you a lucky dude.

April 11th, 2008 at 12:19 pm
BLAHK DUPPY Says:
April 11th, 2008 at 12:14 pm

nahrights moving at a slow pace

^

Co-sign.

Is everyone actually working? Its FRIDAY…

^^^

I’m not doing a damn thing. fuckin around right now.

*blogs from the perspective of Homer Simpson*