Foul Shot: NBA All Caucasian Team
Is this the best first round playoffs ever? Damn near. Almost every series has been packed with more drama than the first 2 seasons of BET’s College Hill. From Lebron vs Gilbert, Ron Artest predicting the Kings will win the championship, Gary Payton & Dwayne Wade taking out their frustration on one another instead of the Baby Bulls and of course Kobe Bryant defeating those Suns of bitches from Phoenix. Yup, its been a dandy but I’ll save my Round 1 breakdowns and Round 2 predicitions until the first round officially wraps.
In the meantime, I’d like to announce my ALL NBA Caucasian Team. You will remember a few weeks ago I did an All Clutch Team, this is the second chapter of our NBA awards courtesy of NahRight. Now when I say All Caucasian, I mean American Caucasian. There will be no imported players on this list for 2 reasons. #1 I have whole team dedicated to this topic, #2 Those Europeans are getting too damn good for me to aknowledge their whiteness (Manu Ginobli IS NOT WHITE, I dont want to hear anything about it. He too good!).
PG – Kirk Hinrich/Chicago Bulls – Few things bring me joy like watching melinan deficiant players get abused in the NBA. I can’t ever recall seeing it happen to Kirk though. He plays with a level of poise that you normally takes players 5+ years to obtain. He’s had it since day 1. He’s a tough little f*cker too. He sort of reminds me of John Stockon with baggy shorts.
SG- Mike Miller/Memphis Grizzlies - Yes, Mike Miller won the Rookie Of The Year award because Kenyon Martin got hurt. But thats not his fault. He’s fresh off getting swept out the playoffs again which has more to do with Mike Fratello’s lack of coaching (new wig, same dull results in the post season ) but he’s also fresh off the NBA’s 6th man award. Alot of times caucasians get stereotyped as great shooters and thats it. Mikey doesnt have the best handle in the world but can get to the basket at times and create his own shot. Not every white player is Stever Kerr dammit!
SF- Wally Sczerbiak/Boston Celtics - Is he a 2? Is he a 3? Thats been one of the problems for Wally World most of his career. He bounces back and forth from the 2 & 3 spot more times in a season than that little ball in the video game Arkanoid. His game is similar to Mike Miller except Wally tends to play a little more physical (he is from NY afterall) I actually like Wally but his absence in big game situations prevents him from really taking his game to the next level.
PF- Brad Miller/Sacramento Kings - I know he plays Center for the Kings but incase you havent noticed there isnt a tremendous amount of talent when it comes to Caucasian players over 6’9. This guy is pretty damn good though. Excellent passer, has great range on his jumper and isnt afraid to mix it up in the paint. Forget about him being white, this guy is good period. Why the hell did Larry NO LIPS Bird trade him for Scott Pollard? Scott f*cking Pollard? And yall say Isiah is crazy.
C – Chris Kaman/Los Angeles Clippers - Damn he has some ugly f*cking hair! Sometimes I think he is so effective on the post because defenders dont want that sloppy looking mop on his head touching them. Get this dude some damn conditioner or something. He look like he washes his hair with fish grease! Seriously though, this dude can play and is a big reason why the Clippers are having the success they are. Just wash that damn hair you filthy animal.
6th Man - Mark Madsen/Minesotta Timberwolves - Honestly, this guy made the list by default. He’s not that good but the lack of a united caucasian front in the NBA made it hard enough to find 5 players in the first place. Besides, has anyone ever seen this guy dance when he won titles with the Lakers? I think the MythBusters where trying to prove that white people don’t have rhythm and having Mark dance was all the proof needed. Seriously though, I like M&M’s game. He’s like a slow white version of Rick Mahorn minus any skills.
May 7th, 2006 at 7:57 pm
First!
To E Dubbs credit, he gave me this post three days ago, but I just got around to putting it up, hence the reference to Kobe killin Phoenix.
May 7th, 2006 at 8:08 pm
did i not say phx would win in 7, before the games had begun?!?!?!?!?!? my predictions all came through(though i was wrong about dallas sweeping memphis, i thought that would go alot further)
May 7th, 2006 at 8:11 pm
KOBES HOME BITCHES… I DONE TOLD YOU HE COULDNT DO IT, HE’S HOME WITH HIS BALL CRYING CAUSE HE LOST, LET THE REAL KINGS OF LA TAKE CARE OF BUSINESS, CLIPPERS TO THE FUCKING RESCUE, THERE GUNNA WIN IT IN 5 BABY, CLIPPERS IN 5
May 7th, 2006 at 8:41 pm
this has to be a joke
ps shout out to the dude that predicted the nets loss
May 7th, 2006 at 9:03 pm
who is that in the photo with mike miller and jesse “the body” ventura (aka Captain Freedom from the movie Running man)?
your right about captain Kirk on the looks and the game
Don’t know how many of you will know this reference but Kaman looks like albino classic rocker Edgar Winters. Very scary. Equally scary: that I am familiar with Edgar Winters.
Baby Bulls in 2007
May 7th, 2006 at 10:04 pm
lmao @ dat part bout Chris Kaman
May 7th, 2006 at 10:19 pm
i dont like to judge guys but, Kirk Hinrich is one ugly man (no homosexual)
May 8th, 2006 at 12:43 am
eskay? where is my boy ak47? you go defense, offense and a wife who lets him step out of the marriage once a year.
May 8th, 2006 at 1:40 am
*doesn’t write the sports section*
May 8th, 2006 at 3:27 am
“#2 Those Europeans are getting too damn good for me to aknowledge their whiteness (Manu Ginobli IS NOT WHITE, I dont want to hear anything about it. He too good!). ”
It’s all good but please explain to me WHY THE FUCK are you American people ALWAYS talking about Ginobili being EUROPEAN?!?!?
Look here:
http://wwp.greenwichmeantime.com/time-zone/america/_derived/_txt_south-america.gif
South America. The beautiful purple part is Argentina. South America is *surprise* right south of the USA. Europe, on the other hand is a little to the east of the USA, as you can see right here:
http://media.maps101.com/SUB/K_3/k3continents.gif
One.
May 8th, 2006 at 3:29 am
PS Good call on Kaman.
May 8th, 2006 at 4:11 am
Whoever’s doing the sport shit should stop, YOU’RE HORRIBLE!
May 8th, 2006 at 8:25 am
u cant have an all-caucasian team w/o dirk nowitzki. no way.
May 8th, 2006 at 9:58 am
@alex 2.0
…rules say no imports, (nowitzski & kirilenko)…domestic devils only…..
May 8th, 2006 at 10:03 am
Dirk ain’t caucasian. First Kirk Hinrich from the Bulls and then Brad Miller Jason Kidd and Mike Bibby (If half breeds apply)
May 8th, 2006 at 10:05 am
Jason Williams ain’t a push over either
May 8th, 2006 at 10:35 am
….how about a black MVP?…that maple leaf smoking crakker aint the damn MVP!!!…he may not be the mvp of his team (Shawn Marion or Amare Stoudamire, when healthy)…Le Bron is the MVP…he singlehandedly has changed the culture of sports in Cleveland, not to mention made the Cavs a playoff threat for years to come…who buys a ticket to see Nash?…canadian white bitches?…i guess Andrew Bogut is rookie of the year over Chris Paul too, huh?…Steve Nash MVP, GTFOH!!!!!…
May 8th, 2006 at 11:08 am
^^^ LANDLORD – LAST YEAR I THOUGHT SHAQ WAS MVP HANDS DOWN NASH SHOULDNT HAVE WON IT NO QUESTIONS ASKED ( AND I WILL AGREE LOTS OF THE OLD WHITE DUDES MAKING THESE DECISIONS TEND TO LEAN TOWARDS NASH CAUSE HE IS WHITE ) AND LAST YEAR I MADE THAT SAME ARGUEMENT THAT AMARE WAS POSSIBLY MORE VALUEABLE THEN HIM ( BUT WE’VE OBVIOUSLY BEEN PROVEN WRONG WITH WHAT NASH DID THIS YEAR WITH NO AMARE, NO JOE JOHNSON AND NO Q- RICH , WHO IS GARBAGE ON THE KNICKS BUT IS BUILT PERFECTLY FOR THE SUNS, )
NOW HAVING SAID ALL THAT IF NASH WAS MVP LAST YEAR AND YOU WANT TO JUSTIFY THAT THAN HE HAS TO BE THIS YEAR, I MEAN THE TEAM IS A SHELL OF WHAT IT WAS LAST YEAR AND HE STILL HAS THEM SCORING 120 A GAME I MEAN HE HAS MADE BORIS DIAW INTO A TOP LEVEL TYPE PLAYER * WONDERS IF I REALLY JUST TYPED THAT * NOW IS LEBRON MORE VALUEBALE TO THE CAVS OF COURSE BUT IF YOUR STICKING WITH NASH AS MVP LAST YEAR HE HAS TO WIN IT AGAIN THIS YEAR CAUSE THIS YEAR WAS ABOUT 500 TIMES MORE IMPRESSIVE THAN LAST YEAR.
ALSO TICKET AND JERSEY SALES SHOULDNT COME INTO PLAY IN ANYWAY SHAPE OR FORM WHEN DISCUSSING MVP
AND CHRIS PAUL WILL BE THE UNANAMIOUS PICK FOR ROY DONT WORRY BOUT THAT SHIT
May 8th, 2006 at 11:09 am
AND IM A HUGE MATRIX FAN BUT HOW COULD YOU SAY HE IS EVEN CLOSE TO AS VALUEABLE AS NASH, NASH SPEEDING THE BAL UP COURT LEAVING OPEN SPACE FOR HIM TO RUN IS WHAT HE EATS OFF ALL DAY, NASH IS WITHOUT A DOUBT MVP OF HIS TEAM ( LEAGUE CHECK PREVIOUS POST )
May 8th, 2006 at 11:31 am
co-signing what t-biggums said in both comments.
May 8th, 2006 at 11:54 am
@ty
…i know, i know, he deserves it more than he did last year, (co-sign on Shaq for last year)… but i think if you asked every GM in the league who his 1st pick would be to start a franchise, between nash and Lebron, the King would win on all scorecards…and dont be fooled, ticket sales + merchandising = bottom dollar, and whats more valuable to the LEAGUE than Lebron’s emergence in the wake of MJ’s departure?…
May 8th, 2006 at 12:00 pm
^^^ RIGHT BUT ITS MOST VALUEABLE PLAYER, NOT MOST VALUEABLE ASSEST.
STARTING A FRANCHISE IS DIFFERENT YEA ID START WITH LEBRON BUT THAT DOESNT NESSECARILY MEAN HE SHOULD WIN MVP.
ALL MVP SHOULD EVER MEAN IS WHAT PLAYER WOULD CAUSE THE BIGGEST DIFFERENCE IN THE WIN/LOSE COLUMNS OF THEIR TEAM THATS IT. AND NOW I AGREE THAT IF YOU DID THAT EXPERIMENT THE CAVS WOULD BE THE WORST TEAM IN THE LEAGUE ( WELL STILL PROBABLY BETTE RTHAN THE KNICKS ) AND I WOULD PROBABLY VOTE BRON IF I HAD A VOTE BUT IM JUST SAYING IN ORDER TO JUSTIFY GIVING IT TO HIM LAST YEAR HE NEEDS TO GET IT AGAIN THIS YEAR OTHERWISE THEY WOULD JUST BE ADMITTING THEY JUST GAVE IT TO THE WHITE BOY
May 8th, 2006 at 12:05 pm
…i hear you…
May 8th, 2006 at 12:25 pm
“I think the MythBusters where trying to prove that white people don’t have rhythm and having Mark dance was all the proof needed.”
I love that show lol…
May 8th, 2006 at 12:46 pm
^^^ my roomate loves that show that and anything on history/discover channel and i mean anything
and i think they could check out the video of tom cruise at the mi3 premiere to solve that myth
May 8th, 2006 at 1:50 pm
O BY THE WAY THE NETS WILL START THE MARCH TO THE EASTERN CONFERNCE FINALS TONIGHT BIATCHES. SHAQ AINT THE SAME ANYMORE D-WADE IS HURTING, GARY PAYTON IS TRYING TO FIGHT WITH EVERYONE AND ANTOINE WALKER AND J-WILLIAMS ARE ON THE TEAM TOO OF THE BEIGGEST LOSERS IN BASKETBALL. NETS GOT THIS BE READY FOR US DETROIT NOT SAYING WE GOT YOU BEAT BUT BE READY FOR US
May 8th, 2006 at 1:53 pm
If Tyson Chandler didn’t get hurt the Heat would have lost. Maybe next year….
May 8th, 2006 at 1:56 pm
^^^ YEA I WAS ACTUALLY MORE WORRIED ABOUT THE BABY BULLS THAN THE HEAT.
May 8th, 2006 at 2:04 pm
I thought the Bulls were going to win the series for a minute. Than i saw Tyson Chandler on the floor holding his leg, and i thought SHIT! I knew the Bulls were going to lose the series after that.
May 8th, 2006 at 9:49 pm
OOOO IM HAVING FUN WATCHING THE NETS HANDLE THE HEAT WITH NOI ISSUES RIGHT NO, LETS SNAG THIS GAME ONE ON THE ROAD AND FINISH THESE BITCHES IN 5 KICK THEM WHILE THEIR DOWN 79 -54 4 MINUTES IN THE THIRD ITS A WRAP
May 8th, 2006 at 11:01 pm
that’s riiiiiiiiiigggggggght bitches game one is ours only 3 more left
May 9th, 2006 at 10:33 am
…as good as the Nets looked, if R.J. cant finish the playoffs, the Nets championship chase is over…Tim Duncan is Kareem Abdul-Jabbar without the skyhook… the Spurs bore me, but the reason them and Detroit have been the best two teams in the NBA for a minute now, is defense…both teams have interior and perimeter stoppers, Spurs-Bowen & Duncan, Detroit-Prince & Wallace…I might have to reconsider my thoughts on Steve Nash, he sonned Sam last night…Cassell got his points, but Clips guards cant move their feet quick enough to keep up with Nash…
May 9th, 2006 at 11:05 am
^^^ your right if we dont have RJ we are FUCKED could still beat miami but nowhere past that without RJ
June 7th, 2006 at 3:00 pm
Hey! Norwegian kid here (yes, norway is in europe). Seems to me like most ppl here are black. Well I am white, I just want to ask you guys why blacks in the USA seems to call white people DEVILS all the time? I dont get it, I don’t know what shit is like in the USA so please explain why you call white people that…
June 12th, 2006 at 6:46 pm
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June 12th, 2006 at 6:48 pm
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June 12th, 2006 at 6:51 pm
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June 12th, 2006 at 6:57 pm
Hi, try also: Nice site brazil world cup winning on foreign territory and add more info.
September 20th, 2006 at 4:26 pm
No Kirilenko?
October 6th, 2006 at 2:48 pm
What’s your take on this Pedophile Dennis Hastert? I mean, I know no one would let their kid go to Micheal Jacksons house, so why hasn’t anyone said anything about these Child Molesters in the Government?