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The Complex Soundboard Pt. 2

Aziz Ansari! Latarian Milton! Clay Davis! Howard Dean! Yes! Yes! Yes!

This shitty afternoon is suddenly looking up.

Check out the handy legend after the jump.

ROW 1: (Left to right) President Obama, Olivia Munn, Ras Kass [Ed.—it’s his boy in the clip], Ras Trent, Rick Ross, Eric Cartman, Kanye West (South Park version)

ROW 2: The Joker, Larry David, Lil Wayne, Kim Kardashian, Mooj (from The 40-Year-Old Virgin), Latarian Milton, Jonah Hill

ROW 3: Randy (Aziz Ansari in Funny People), Red (Danny McBride in Pineapple Express), Clay Davis (The Wire), Smokey (Friday), Kanye West, Tommy Buns (DMX in Belly), Howard Dean

ROW 4: Bow Wow, 50 Cent, Brick Tamland (Anchorman), Cam’ron, Kenny Powers, Leon Black (J.B. Smoove in Curb Your Enthusiasm), Super Craka

ROW 5: Brian Collins, Leroy Jenkins, 2Pac, Mike Tyson, Superhead, Craig Robinson (as club bouncer in Knocked Up), Christian Bale

ROW 6: Kim Kardashian, David Letterman, Raekwon, R. Kelly, Super Craka, Jay-Z, O-Dog (Menace II Society)

Previously: The Complex Soundboard Pt. 1


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35 Responses to “The Complex Soundboard Pt. 2”

  1. NickNato Add Me On Ps3 Says:

    he’s a jackass

  2. Beezy Says:

    The Senate’s second-ranking Democrat introduced a bill Thursday that would eliminate the sentencing disparity between crack and powdered cocaine, an issue that has frustrated judges, civil rights advocates and drug reform proponents for more than two decades.

    Under current law, it takes 100 times more powdered cocaine than crack to trigger the same mandatory minimum sentence. Activists say that disparity disproportionately impacts African Americans.

    “The sentencing disparity between crack and powder cocaine has contributed to the imprisonment of African Americans at six times the rate of whites and to the United States’ position as the world’s leader in incarcerations,” Majority Whip Richard J. Durbin (D-Ill.) said in a statement. “It’s time for us to act.”

  3. D. Billz Says:

    You gotta get in his ass Larry.

  4. Remixznflow Says:

    The Senate’s second-ranking Democrat introduced a bill Thursday that would eliminate the sentencing disparity between crack and powdered cocaine, an issue that has frustrated judges, civil rights advocates and drug reform proponents for more than two decades.

    Under current law, it takes 100 times more powdered cocaine than crack to trigger the same mandatory minimum sentence. Activists say that disparity disproportionately impacts African Americans.

    “The sentencing disparity between crack and powder cocaine has contributed to the imprisonment of African Americans at six times the rate of whites and to the United States’ position as the world’s leader in incarcerations,” Majority Whip Richard J. Durbin (D-Ill.) said in a statement. “It’s time for us to act.”

    ^
    damn… wonder if it will pass…

  5. JDS aka JDSkellington Says:

    lmaoooo @ thw Wayne one

  6. Boos Bigelow Says:

    Blame reagan for that law

  7. Legend Says:

    my a.d.d just kicked in

  8. Boos Bigelow Says:

    Lol at rush limbaugh back peddling his bloods and crypt statements….the minority owners that partnered with him dropped him.

  9. Remixznflow Says:

    yo.. where did that olivia munn comment come from?

  10. - keka - Says:

    ..that mega joint is tight!

  11. eskay Says:

    >>yo.. where did that olivia munn comment come from?

    lol, that’s what I’m saying

  12. Plug Says:

    the tomatoe technique has gotten me many of dates. I remember this chick I pulled from peuto rico using this exact technique. she was the prettiest chick i ever seen… ever. I was sideways off the E & J at the time. she didnt care. she just liked the fact I was cooking and was in a good mood. we went to see Ironman. I cant lie tho I never smashed but it she was still a cool chick. plus she paid for everything

    @ cold nothin never materialized. but she to this day was the prettiest richest chick ever. second was this Doctor on the east side.

  13. Suaveebolaayatollahsaudiarabiacocacola Says:

    *dead* at the X sounbite. He was in his zone that day.

  14. Joe 88 Says:

    Is it me, or does it seems like ugly people find love easier than beautiful, handsome people like myself?

    I was checking my emails and seen a friend request from this chick we use to go to shcool with, so I check the page, and yep, she’s still ugly, but this bitch got a family, bout to get married, and seems to be living the life, has anyone else ever felt like this?

  15. Remixznflow Says:

    @plug.. ill give it a shot.. im not gonna lie imma be mad uncomfortable talkin about tomatoes but its whatever… im 27 and i need to get a “good one”…

  16. Plug Says:

    I used to get sideways and go on youtube and listen to all the soundboard pranks. the arnold swarchernahgger ones was always the funniest

  17. reem Says:

    lmao @ the ross one

  18. BBManik Says:

    Genius

  19. Remixznflow Says:

    # Joe 88 Says:
    October 15th, 2009 at 1:30 pm

    Is it me, or does it seems like ugly people find love easier than beautiful, handsome people like myself?

    I was checking my emails and seen a friend request from this chick we use to go to shcool with, so I check the page, and yep, she’s still ugly, but this bitch got a family, bout to get married, and seems to be living the life, has anyone else ever felt like this?

    ^
    every damn day… lol.. i got people i NEVER thought would get it together.. but somehow they do.. which means fundamentally i missed something..

    looks aint everything either.. i would much rather have me a GOOD WOMAN than a FINE WOMAN…

    being good looking is both a gift and a curse…

  20. Plug Says:

    @plug.. ill give it a shot.. im not gonna lie imma be mad uncomfortable talkin about tomatoes but its whatever… im 27 and i need to get a “good one”…
    ——-
    thats the beauty of walmart. choose the department that suits you best. try to say in grocery or at least elctronics. the movie section is good too. mens clothes are a bad section mostly because if a chick is in the mens section, they prolly got a man… dont do womens sectons either. youll just be lookin like a perv

  21. D_Block_4_Life aka heat the track up Like Adobo/Sazon/SOFRITO Says:

    I’d fuck me some Rosa Acosta pussy….why, yes i would…

  22. Boos Bigelow Says:

    Pulling broads at whole foods> broads a walmart…

    walmart gotta lotta ducks….if you wanna a sophisticated dime…go to whole foods or a smaller market…

    If the bitch got generic products in they cart like greater value or other store brand products…pass and go

  23. D_Block_4_Life aka heat the track up Like Adobo/Sazon/SOFRITO Says:

    So Zab got knocked out, niggas laughed and cOLD got mad? nahright?

  24. Remixznflow Says:

    If the bitch got generic products in they cart like greater value or other store brand products…pass and go

    ^
    shiet.. i got generics in MY cart.. fuck a name brand..

  25. Joe 88 Says:

    So I just found out that Trey Songs is the guy that made the song “LOL:-)”

    Am I suppose to take this nigga serious? Is he really heir to the R&B throne? I must’ve got on the wrong spaceship this morning, knockouts aint funny no more, ugly people are what’s up, niggas making songs called “laugh out loud” what tha fuck son?

  26. Remixznflow Says:

    @joe

    put a scare on ya face like omar… stop listening to trey songs.. date an ugly bitch.. done deal

  27. Joe 88 Says:

    The Bow wow one is the funniest

    Ay D, handle that big D (c) Bow Wow

    *dead*

  28. Plug Says:

    @boosie

    you aint figured out that the namebrands and the generics is made at the same factories yet??? why you think when they make a recall on somethin like lunchmeat [ll], its always like 10 different brands

  29. S.I.C.K Says:

    BASED ON TRUE EVENTS..LONG ASS STORY BUT GOOD..

    As I type this,I`m still buggin out at what happened.I don`t know how y`all feel `bout bbws aka fat bitches,but I met one who was well endowed in the ass dept.She was 39,childless,and BISEXUAL.Ayo this chick was crazy sexy to me.She had the most piercing grey eyes I have ever seen.She was 5 foo7 about 250lbs.Her ass was reminiscent of one of those huge ass pumpkins they grow out in Ohio, or some shit.I mean I gotta stay on this point for a minute because her ass is CRAZY!!! Her ass is like 2 24 inch escalade rims,I`m not lying yo!!! I had to see what was good with that ass!!!

    First,I kinda challenged her bisexual tendencies by asking whether or not she was a “selfish lover”.I have encountered first hand other bisexual females who did`nt give head or witheld other sexual favors because they really were into women more than men.Anyway, she stated that she was far from a selfish lover,and if I doubted it,she would show me sooner than later.We exchanged numbers,and she told me she just got back to BK after spending alot of time in Maryland.

    So I`m chillin a the crib working on a track,the phone rings and it was the chick.We talked for hours on the phone,so basically I was seasoning her up for the kill.I threw a little inuendo around, and she was making it easy for a nigga.She openly told me she ain`t had a man in 3 months,so I had to see how far shit would go.I invited her through,and she was with it.

    Ok,this time I changed my strategy up.I threw on one of my “bill cosby”sweaters with my black Lo jeans and my wallabees.Fresh,yet not too dressed up.I was drinking E and J vsop with my man Jihad(roomate)waiting for shorty to come through.Visions of smashing that fat ass permeated my entire thought process.I was getting kinda antsy and shit.I mean this bitches ass was like the Death Star from Star Wars,could I handle that shit?Could I actually penetrate that shit?DAMN!!!

    The bell rings,I let shorty in and she was dressed rather fly.She had on some tight blue jeans,a sleaveless white blouse and a fly cashemre coat with matching hat and gloves.This bitch had class!! Her hair was reddish with strawberry highlights.Her nails were nicely done and she had some fly ass suede black indian boots with tassles.She smelled tasty as hell too.When she spoke to my man Jihad as she walked by,the look this nigga had on his face was priceless.This bitch moved with mad power behind her.I gave her a hug,and we made small talk while she polished off a turkey hero, and I finished off the blunt I had rolled prior.

    I was rocking a little Dwele in the background as she smoked a newport.She did`nt smoke weed or drink.I was getting smashed drinking that fucking EandJ straight.I was asking for it.She took a shower,I decided to do the same to sober up a lil bit.I was really feeling nice,but I did not wanna be too numb in the pussy,when it came time to smash.Ok,I jump out with a black towel on.My boy Jihad had some shit lined up in the Bronx,which was a plus because I may had wanted to fuck this bitch in every room of the apt.LOL..SERIOUSLY

    She`s laying across the bed and shit looking like a big ass piece of cake.I had to take a few points off because this bitch had on “full panties”with stars and flowers on them.LOL She was laying on her stomach,so I told her to stay like that,but remove them grandma drawers.She pulled down her panties and good lawd!! It was like somebody opened the refrigerator door,or the sun came through the window or some other outlandish shit.Her ass was HUGE!!! and PRETTY.I expected her shit to be all sloppy and cottage cheesed up.On the contrary,her ass was fully packed and firm and tight as hell.I grabbed the baby oil and I started rubbing her back and shoulders.My dick was getting hard,and hard to conceal in the bath towel so I chucked the towel in my lazy boy chair so my dick could breathe.

    I`m taking my time on shorty really rubbing her down on some thorough shit.She was groaning slightly from my touch and I did not reach her ass yet.I was really feeling horny,but also playful.So you will never guess what I did next.I LAYED DIRECTLY on this bithces back,like I was grappling with this bitch and I was rubbing and grinding my body getting the oil on both of us.She liked that shit alot.My dick was pressing all up against that big ass.Got damn!! I wish I could properly convey how soft yet firm her huge ass was.She was mad plush like a mattress.Her ass was damn there a piece of furniture.I had to climb all over that shit.

    It get`s better,I flipped her over and she had the most prettiest vagina I have seen in a while.Most bitches shit is so beat up,they pussy lips look like roast beef or pastrami.She had a nice pretty pink clit that stuck out nicely.She was clean shaven, and she was already juicing up.Her pussy juices were nice and clear like the heavy syrup that you find in a can of cling peaches or fruit cocktail.This turned me on.She cocked her legs back,and gave me a look that gave me a tingle deep in my balls.

    I start teasing her clitoris with my tongue.Little circles that I gradually widened while trying different levels of pressure trying to see what she liked.No 2 females are alike, so I approach each situation a little differently.I inserted my thumb into her vagina and she started grabbing my hand and grinding on that shit.The visual was mad ill becasue she was more freaky than I expected.My hand was sloshing around from the wetness,and I told her”mama your pussy`s talking”She smiled and then pulled me up and said”I don`t like the taste of my own pussy,and I don`t really kiss,but come here”We kissed and it was crazy!!

    So she was jerking my shit and talking dirty in my ear.I can`t even remember half the shit at this point,but it was really nasty.She layed me down and started doming me up.Oh Shit,that shit was FLAWLESS.This bitch had my stomach convulsing and shit like when a infant cries.LOL She kept looking me in my face with those grey eyes and I was open.Her mouth was so silky and she was very generous with the head.She had little tits though,kinda like 2 plum tomatoes.She had some big nipples that was tickling my fucking leg,but I did`nt say shit.She had a nice technique orally,a little on the neat side, but effective.

    She did some ol ill shit with the rubber.She formed a “O” with her mouth and put the condom on her mouth and placed it over the head of my dick and was rolling it down by pressing her lips a certain way,and she STILL was teasing my dick with her tongue so my erection was intact.Niggas know how safe sex can be a drag.She made it fun,and creative.Her skills were beyond reproach.Alright,I`m ready to smash now.I grab her by the ass and direct her to come to the very edge of the bed.I threw my dick up in her and it was CRAZY.She was mad tight and warm inside.Looking at her ass made it even more crazier.I pratically begged her to let me either tape the backshots or at least let me take a picture with my digital camera.I had the camcorder ready in the corner of the room and my camera was within arms reach.

    She was like “next time,I promise,just enjoy me”So I started picking up the pace, and we alternated who was gonna control the stroke and tempo.My feet kept slipping,and I was still a little bent so my legs were wobbly.My timbs were in the closet so I put my wallys on instead.It was a wild look.LOL So I got tired of that so I told her to lie on her back.She threw her legs way back and started opening her pussy.I just stood there for a minute to really come to grips to what was popping off.This pretty fat bitch was flexible as hell!!So I jumped on top of her and was really piledriving her shit.Legs back, edge of the bed,really using my legs to give her all of me.I was doing military presses in that pussy.I`m talking on my tippy toes,balancing my own weight.Crazy shit!!

    Her pussy had a “extra compartment”where she would relax her muscles and my shit would really go in further.You don`t know how bad I wanted to rip that fucking rubber off!!It kept slipping down and shit fucking my flow up a lil bit.So I laid on my back,and she lowered that ass down and was riding me with her ass in my face.All you hear was “bap bap bap”.Shit sounded like some shit I sampled recently.She was looking at herself in my miror on my closet door, and I guess admiring her work.I was just laying there,trying my best to hold on but she was really picking up the pace.So I just let it go.

    When we were finished my whole pelvis was wet with her juices.We just chilled for a while after that,I put her in a cab,and that was that.We have been speaking regularly,and we supposed to link up again.Next time,I`m getting a flick or something.I need a keep sake for posterity.LOL

    I hope y`all enjoyed this installment of Sick Chronicles…..I know some will hate,but it`s ok…Fuck it..Peace

  30. J Says:

    LOL @ generic products and passin a woman up on strictly Greater Value aka Wal-mart brand! L O L

  31. strangè Says:

    ok

  32. D_Block_4_Life aka heat the track up Like Adobo/Sazon/SOFRITO Says:

    Holy shit SICK…you want me to read that? Being that you do drop gems, I’ll read it…

    Be back in half

  33. strangè Says:

    # Plug Says:
    October 15th, 2009 at 1:46 pm

    @boosie

    you aint figured out that the namebrands and the generics is made at the same factories yet??? why you think when they make a recall on somethin like lunchmeat [ll], its always like 10 different brands
    _____________________________________________________________

    Of course I knew that…I worked for proctor and gamble one summer…but buying fresh bread from home pride> greater value bread….

    Buying generic toilet tissue is a no go…ass be all bleeded up…might as well clean yo ass with sandpaper…quilted northern is the way to go…not that cheap shit

  34. D. Billz Says:

    Joe88

    Average looking women are hit on far more than banging ones. Actually, correction, more dudes of substance will go after an average chick because she seems like less trouble to 1. holla at, and 2. deal with. More than likely a pretty chick isn’t gonna have all of the desirable traits because she hasn’t been cultivated. She’s been catered to all her life so often where she lacks unselfishness the average woman makes up for in that area.

    Checks and balances.

  35. does zyban work Says:

    433244221: :3. I Like My Women, How I Like My Whiskey… 12 Years Old And

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